Once Upon A Time…

In a small town Arizona, there lived a girl with lofty dreams.  She dreamed of leaving this small  town and moving far away, pursuing her dreams of an Ivy League education, and becoming a world-renowned lawyer and victim’s advocate.

You guessed it, that girl is me! I had a relatively normal life – or so I thought- until I entered high school. I was 12, nervous to be in such a large setting with so many unknown people – but I had one advantage – I was wicked smart.  I graduated high school at 15 and began my collegiate career at 16, graduated at 18 with three degrees Summa Cum Laude from my university’s honors program, and began teaching high school math at 19.  And there, my friends, are all of the  monumental aspects for the first 19 years of life – now onto my turbulent 20’s.

Which, if I think about, shouldn’t be turbulent considering I did all of the major things before I reached my third decade. Here is the thing, though…my life feels chaotic when it isn’t – when I feel I have no purpose or direction – as though  my life has come to a proverbial stand-still.  I see all of my friends – most of whom just graduated from college – traveling the world, staying up ’til all hours at parties, sleeping all day, gallivanting around the mall and going to social events; yet, here I am already settled in life – bored.

Tomorrow  is the last day of my first year teaching high school…it seems like just yesterday I was celebrating my high school graduation.  Time really does fly.  I look back on these last few years wishing I had spent more time socializing in college, making friends, maybe having some rebellious times. Instead, I spent my days cooped away or working, or sleeping – did I waste three years where I had had the opportunity to be spontaneous and free?

Don’t get me wrong, I have a fabulous life. I am blessed with a loving and supportive family, a wonderful, supportive, and may I add, extremely attractive boyfriend, a solid group of close friends, a job, a relationship with my loving, omnipotent, all-powerful Savior, a steady job, food, a roof over my head; really I have more than I need or deserve – yet I feel that I have hit a brick wall…I am barely 20 years old and I feel that I have accomplished more than most people ever will – yet I feel a modicum of regret rather than achievement.  At least I still drive a sporty car and have yet to merge into the “mom car” group!


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